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It’s going to be an inexact process at best; it’s not as though grinding in bars gives you 120 XP per hour that culminates with your hitting the cap as a level 80 Pick-Up Artist.As a general rule, the more successes you have – getting working phone numbers, first dates, second dates – the more risks you can reasonably take.They hear the various horror stories about guys being labeled as creepy for trying to hit on women at cons or approaching women they see on the bus or on the train or trying to slide into their DMs and then lament that there are no acceptable ways for men to hit on women any more.

In the case of Ben Schoen’s attempt at wooing of Grace Spelman, he assumed a far greater level of intimacy than actually existed; the only contact they had was that she friended him on Facebook when she was fourteen.

For nine years, they had contact; they never interacted on Facebook or Twitter until he tweeted at her out of the blue.

While there are obviously no hard and fast classifications, this list should serve as a decent rule of thumb.

Dating 101 – Online dating, warm approaches, meeting friends of friends, parties Dating 201 – Cold approaches at bars and clubs, some low-key, low-investment daytime approaches (bookstores, coffee shops, comic stores, etc.) Dating 301 – More advanced daytime approaches (the mall, the gym, grocery stores) Dating 401 – Street approaches, public transit, etc. There’s a reason for that: it’s a fucking stupid idea.

A 5th level paladin isn’t going to survive going through the Tomb of Horrors and somebody who doesn’t have much social experience is better off sticking to accepted social spaces to approach women.

This is one of the areas where Schoen seriously falls down.it’s ok to approach women is to consider the social context of the situation.At any given time, there are generally accepted rules that define what behavior is considered acceptable and appropriate for the situation.Approaching people you don’t know and have no connection to means that you have to behave accordingly.Tracking them down on social media, randomly texting them (when they didn’t give you their number) or proclaiming your undying devotion for them when you don’t actually know each other are all examples of assuming excess levels of intimacy.Pushing and pushing for Spelman to respond to him, switching social media platforms when she wouldn’t respond to him on the previous one?

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