You don’t really want to run into one of your old flames – or one of theirs – and it’s good to go somewhere fresh to you both, free of distractions or associations with other dates.
Forget their sexual past Yes, plenty of us have been around a bit, but don’t let it play on your mind when on a date with a new guy.
While you’re checking your racism, think about the way you talk to other guys who aren’t just like you.
“Older men are really hot” is nowhere near as serious as racism, and it might seem like a compliment, but this guy doesn’t want to be defined by his age, any more than you’d expect someone to fancy you because of your postcode or shoe size.
Say what you like to do, who you want to be with, and why people should date you. Don’t fetishise This is becoming a bigger issue in the gay dating world.
All this liberation and equality is leading to increased bigotry among us.
While the common dating ‘rules’ – not that I believe in rules – can apply to anybody, there are perhaps a few things we, as gay guys, need to pay a little more attention to.
Cast your net further afield We can be a very picky bunch.
Don’t dismiss guys you meet on an app Not everyone on a hookup app is looking for sex and even if they are, who gives a toss?
We are all grownups and it’s not how you met that’s important but the fact you did at all. If you just want sex, be upfront Some guys are going on dates to meet the love of their lives, others aren’t quite sure what they’re looking for, while others are definitely after just one thing.
Be positive Many guys are very clear in their dating profiles – almost rudely so – about what they don’t want or like.
Not only is this far too prescriptive, you also run the risk of coming across as overly negative.
The loved-up couple committed to marriage when they were camping under the stars in the African wilderness, just a year after they started dating.