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I haven’t been able to find this dating site that prompts users to engage in greater empathy. The responsibility, however, does not merely rest with the creators of online dating tools or podcast producers. Much like my attempt to quit Facebook, this latest digital abandonment might not stick.I will gladly return if and when dating sites improve the experience.For instance, in 2013, Ok Cupid removed users’ profile photos for one day, dubbing it “Love is Blind Day.” People couldn’t tell who was, well, what.

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We see ugly people too, but they're not the main actors.

They're the dishwashers, the janitors, or the bad guys!

It allowed users to select the racial groups with which they did not want to be matched.

Listening to that podcast heavily influenced my decision to quit online dating.

“Online dating is simply a technological layer that helps to remove some friction in the space, and makes it easier for people to meet other people that they were already more or less looking to meet.

But so far, it hasn’t proven to be the greatest force for social change, other than by making data about trends more easily accessible, and opening up dialogues on important issues like these.” That last part has stuck with me.

Research shows that building empathetic connections between and among people across lines of difference and that lead to changes in behavior is incredibly difficult.

My time as the editor-in-residence and a lecturer at the Stanford University d.school has taught me that, while it may be difficult to build these connections and design for these behavior changes, it is not impossible.

Motto: Have you ever thought to yourself, I am ugly?

All around us we see gorgeous people, on television, in movies and magazines.

If you’re a black woman, as I am, or an Asian man, Ok Cupid data shows that you’re likely to receive fewer matches and messages. It became glaringly obvious that I was getting far fewer matches and messages while online dating than my non-black friends.

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