She realizes she made mistakes with these men in the past, and when I felt we were headed toward marriage, I asked her to remove any semblance of past relationships physically and from her heart – for my sake.She has fought me on every side on this issue for years.But the fact that she still showcases them, talks and hangs out with these men, tells me she has not really moved from her past into the present (or future) with you.
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I just saw a picture she still keeps that her ex took of her (she says she absolutely loves it because of vanity; because of the way her hair, nails and slim figure look in the photo).
I reminded her of my request to remove any lingering items from past relationships; she refuses, but wants to compromise. and I’m wondering your take on this situation now that you know my point of view.
Whatever and whomever you tend to place the most emphasis on will be where your heart is.
Each of us have our personal “stumbling blocks” in the way of places we (used to) frequent, habits we have established, and friends we have made which can take us away our focus of following and serving God.I also sense you may be suffering with some trust issues.If you are seriously heading towards marriage and can’t fully believe in her now, you may need to reevaluate your relationship. Relationships are give and take, never a one-sided proposition, and each must work together to find common ground and understanding. A photo, gift or even a friend from the past has no bearing on a current relationship unless romantic value is placed on them.She even stayed out till 4am once, where he was involved.She had another friend, with whom she had been sexually active, and wanted me to allow them to remain friends too.Even though I don't think it's critical that anyone should have to throw away every old picture, I do think there is a line drawn with what the picture looks like and what it represents.