The other problem is that it’s to get stuck on the opener.If you’re already shy or dealing with approach anxiety, it can feel comfortable to stick with the conversation you already have going on instead of trying to shift gears… You have to be willing to cut a conversational thread and move on to an actual conversation if you go indirect.Just as importantly, however, is the fact that mastering cold approaches makes .
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ways of doing this – online dating, joining an amateur sports team, taking continuing education classes or finding like-minded groups on – there’s a truth that they all have in common: you’re going to have to learn the art of the cold approach. You’re going to feel like you’re putting your entire self-worth into somebody else’s hands.
Cold approaches are when you’re meeting someone you have no social connection with; unlike with a warm approach, you’re meeting a complete and total stranger without even the “friend-of-a-friend” buffer to ease your way. So here are some tough truths about making cold approaches: they can be difficult, especially if you’re trying to hook up that night.
In general, openers are divided into two different types: indirect and direct.
The indirect opener is a way of starting the conversation without directly indicating that you’re interested in someone sexually or romantically.
You are essentially coming up with a plausible excuse to talk to somebody besides the fact that you find them attractive.
These tend to be somewhat easier for the shy or socially inexperienced; they’re lower-investment for both parties and allow for you to warm up to talking to somebody before moving the conversation towards a potential date.
It’s all about just starting a conversation and building from there.
Regardless of whether you go indirect or direct, you don’t want to linger on the opening; all you’re trying to do is get them interested in talking to you.
Being able to go up and strike up a conversation with them means fewer missed opportunities to meet somebody awesome.