In a society where there are ideals of femininity and masculinity, it can be difficult for individuals who don't fit neatly into those boxes.
Plus, navigating the world of dating is already a mess, so being on an extreme end of any physical spectrum doesn't exactly make it any easier.
It's hard to ignore something as obvious as height, especially if it makes a person stand out.
Then, you’re going to have to explore other aspects of the relationship.
There are a few things you can do that will be helpful: The key is that you don’t allow yourself to be together in a sitting where you’re alone or private because if that happens, you’re very likely to be back in the same routine.
Most people who live together before they get married don’t get married and those who do have a higher divorce rate. You’ve already agreed that this is not the biblical pattern and thus is not a healthy pattern. What you’re demonstrating, by the fact that you say, “I want to do this but we always fall back into the same pattern again” is the strong bonding nature of sexual relationships. Sex was designed to be a deep bonding experience between a husband and wife.
What you’re experiencing is that deep bonding between the two of you even though you’re not married. However, if you’re going to develop a healthy dating relationship and make a wise decision about getting married or not getting married, you’re going to have to draw away from this obsession with the sexual part of the relationship.
So when people inevitably criticize me for taking men's comments about my height too personally, I'm the first to agree. And I haven't worked this hard to love my body for some guy to nonchalantly tell me how to feel about it over a gin and tonic.
Meredith: I'm a trans woman who's 5'5", so average height for women in the States and shorter than most trans women I know.What makes matters worse is that I am currently four hours away at school and every time we see each after being apart a week or two (even when we have had full intentions of not being sexual) we end up falling into our old habits.I have your book but was wondering what would be the best way to get out of this cycle and get right with God?I think to work through that book would make wonderful dating experiences for you.The more you get to know each other apart from sexual activity, the more you’ll be able to make a wise decision to marry or not to marry. They make endless unwarranted comments, trying to reassure me that I don't seem "too tall" or "too big." They'll say, "You carry it well," or "Just don't wear heels and you're fine." They act shocked when I say I'm six feet, and beg me to stand back-to-back. These comments also imply that there's a cutoff at which a woman's height becomes unattractive and unacceptable — and that luckily, I fall below it.