Some asexuals may even look at this and think that’s bizarre. The whole concept is so different from how they look at the same scenario that it may be impossible for them to process those actions into something that makes sense. Some asexuals don’t connect with the word “hot” and other words describing someone’s sexual desirability.
For some asexual people, the thought “I would like to have sex with that person” could seem as random and unexpected as “I would like to paint that person blue, cover them with twigs, and dance around them in a circle all night”. We’re able to judge and rank subjective beauty on a scale from “ugly” to “pretty”, we may feel that some people are “cute”, but “hot” can be a word that some asexuals avoid. When other people use words like “hot”, we can sense that there’s some innate internal buzzer going off inside their mind, and that the word is not just some synonym or sub-category of words like “cute” or “pretty”.
All your friends get caught up in what they’d like to do and who they’d like to do it with, but you don’t feel that way about anyone. You pretended to like sex so your partner wouldn’t think you didn’t love them.
For many people, love and sex are inextricably linked.
They make suggestive comments about the delivery person or the receptionist or the wait staff at the restaurant.
If they’re talking about other people, like how “hot” the waitress is or how “steamy” the delivery guy is, there’s a good chance that you didn’t even notice them.
It’s possible to have and even enjoy sex, even if you’re not sexually attracted to the person you’re involved with. They boast about bachelor(ette) parties or one night stands.
They discuss who’s hot, how hot they are, and what attributes make them hot.
The word means more to them than “visually appealing”.
There’s something behind it, some sense, some response that’s driving them to choose “hot” over “pretty”, and we don’t experience what that sense is.
At some point in their lives, they’ll look around and realize that other people say things like that and mean them.