People often wonder about dating someone who is separated—not officially divorced. I have been separated for over a year, with young kids I have half the time.
Read this email I received from a reader who is having problems in online dating because he is separated–not officially divorced.
Before I could do the calculations in my head, he explained that he had married too young, in his early twenties, and not only did he have a wife he was separated from, but two sons. He followed that bomb with “I hope you’re okay with all of this? I tried to be a team player, but then reality set in.
Next day’s text “You are an amazing guy, but still being married is an issue for me”. I even skipped grad school class to go on the date.
There are many possible reasons people have issues with dating someone who is separated—not officially divorced: They think the person could end up getting back with their ex, they think the person isn’t mentally ready, they think that dating someone who isn’t officially divorced is the same thing as dating a married man.
I’m not looking to rush back into a marriage, but I’m looking to date with an intent on finding a relationship.
It’s what feels right for me and I feel ready for it.
It’s slim pickings where I live when it comes to finding quality men, so I decided to revisit my Tinder account recently.
I should have known better because I tell people all the time that Tinder isn’t a place to look for love.
To sum it all up, he always had a problem and his overall attitude was a vibe-killer for someone like me who was just looking to get to know him better and have a good time.
Now, before you ask why I got involved with him in the first place, here’s the thing: Sometime we do illogical things even when we already know the more logical solution. I liked him, he claimed he was trying to move forward from his “situation,” so I gave him a chance. Needless to say that ended in less than three weeks, but I didn’t walk away empty-handed in terms of a lesson.
Another says “I see you’re separated…I’m looking for a serious relationship”.
I also went on a date with a really cool girl and had a great time.
We talked about our careers and there was a lot of laughs.